No one ever sets out to be unsuccessful, it just seems to happen along the way. You may think it was just bad luck or the economy or a series of random events, but it’s not.
If you truly want to be successful stop doing the following behaviors of unsuccessful people.
1. Blame Others for Your Failures
Whenever we fail our initial reaction is to look for others to blame. It’s natural.
“It couldn’t possibly be my fault. I’m so dang smart and good looking.”
Whether it’s your boss, coworker, the media, the wifi or the guy who cut you off driving the big SUV, we all look to others as the reason for our problems. When we constantly point fingers away from us, we miss the lesson to be learned.
By missing the lesson we miss an opportunity to grow and become a better version of ourselves. It may be painful or uncomfortable to realize that the lesson to be learned is actually that we might have caused the problem. But this will help you prevent this in the future and allow for greater success.
2. Look Down On Others Who Succeed
If I’m honest with you, this is one I personally struggle with. When I see someone get a promotion or praise, Instead of congratulate them, I make it about me.
“Why did they get a promotion, and not me? I’m smarter than them. I work just as hard, if not harder.”
But we don’t always see the work they do. More often than not, they deserve the success they received. Congratulate them. Admire them. Look for ways you can improve to achieve the same success.
Complaining without action is probably my biggest pet peeve. Life isn’t always peaches and roses. Stuff happens. And sometimes that stuff sucks.
It doesn’t do you any good to dwell on it. If you are going to complain about an issue or circumstance make sure you follow it up with a solution.
Try to identify ways you can fix the problem or help lead others to fix the problem. Complaining for complaining sake will get you nowhere and breed an attitude of ungratefulness that no one will want to be around.
4. Fear Change
“For time and the world do not stand still. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” – John F. Kennedy
Change happens everyday. It is inevitable. Whether it’s a new boss, process or an update to your favorite app, it will happen. How you react is key to your success.
With every change there is new opportunities for success.
5. Seek Praise
We all want it, but we don’t always get it. If you are constantly looking for that pat on the back or trying to puff yourself up to ensure you get recognized over others, you will surely be disappointed.
You will also miss great opportunities to serve. Service to others is the greatest fulfillment one can have. Sure praise and recognition will be sparse, but you have the opportunity to create the longest lasting change by lifting others up instead of seeking the praise only for yourself.
6. Hope Others Fail
There’s a reason why “FAIL” videos are so popular on the YouTubes. We take pleasure in seeing other’s failure. I don’t know why, but we do.
What I realized as I lazily watched a video of a skateboarder missing the rail and landing with legs squarely on either side of the rail, is that this skateboarder is “trying”. Which is more than I could say for myself at the time.
He may have missed and he may be in excruciating pain, but he tried. And guess what, it probably wasn’t the first time he attempted the trick and it certainly won’t be his last.
At some point he’ll land the trick and it will be one of the best moments of his life.
Instead of wishing failure on others, be inspired by their attempt.
7. Always Think About Yourself
“What’s in it for me?”
Most highly successful people started with identifying ways they could help others be successful. When you help others be successful, you create a support team that is loyal to you and will inevitably lift you up.
Great leaders will always look for ways to help their team and lift them up to success. This builds loyalty and trust.
I see this with brands as well. Awesome brands start off by offering a free service (facebook, twitter, wordpress). Initially they are not worried about monetizing their business, but are focused on providing something people love.
The same is true for you. If you look to help others, you will eventually find your greatest success and fulfillment in life.